The anxious conflict concerning self care

I spent some time today out on the open water, having been invited out by a friend from Lower Thames Rowing club.  It’s been a stressful few weeks where I know I have been devoting less time to self-care.

Plus as I have a family connection to the sea that lives within my DNA (Epigenetics a topic for another time!) I couldn’t really say, “No”, especially as  Self-care can be a great resource because we can undertake activities to alleviate some issues that impact our well-being – stress, insomnia,  or mental health  illnesses like OCD and depression. In many cases self-care to take time out for ourselves is the well-being tonic we need. 

However there is a, “But” and for some people that can be a big, “BUT”!  The thought of self-care for some people who experience anxiety may activate feelings relating to self-worth, “I don’t deserve this” or “I’m not good enough to do this.” Even the thought of self-care can be anxiety inducing rather than reducing!

I had similar feelings today, I really wanted to go but my anxiety was higher than usual as I was nervous about undertaking something that I had not done before, and wondered if I would be good enough, even though I knew it would be a good form of self-care. 

How did my anxiety get reduced?

Fortunately the Rowing Club members made me feel super relaxed – they were friendly and put no pressure on me.

Once I was out on the open water, I found rowing to be really calming, a great form of mindfulness  And the more I concentrated on  rowing; I began syncing myself to the rhythm of others in the boat, the more my anxiety reduced. As I focused on the calming sound of the oars as they gently hit the water, their movement became hypnotic. And in those moments the outside world faded away.

I don’t imagine that being out on the water is a cure-all for issues that impact our well-being. But there were sufficient elements today that gave me time to focus on myself, give time to my health and well-being, and now I can’t wait to do it again!!